Would love to be a news anchor (Long Island)

longisland.craigslist.org/res/d/would-love-to-be-news-anchor/6933469016.html

Although I am not an experienced news anchor, I am an actor, hair model, and magazine model who is used to being in front of the camera. I have worked in many areas and would like to enter the field of television (as a news anchor/reporter.) Writing and research excite me and my organizational skills would be a great fit for this new position. From nutrition to security, I have been employed in a variety of areas and I am looking forward to expanding my knowledge. Please contact me if you feel that I am a good fit for your position.

How could you be a news anchor when you were already on the news for stealing babies?

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Recent UC graduate (South Bay LA)

losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/res/d/recent-uc-graduate/6937018405.html

I’m a recent college graduate who is seeking any labor, office work, personal assistant, writing 5 star reviews, server, restaurant etc. I’m available 7 days a week but preferably looking for something anytime between 9am-7pm.
* B.A in Sociology
* very social person
*hard worker
*empathetic

They lied. College doesn’t guarantee a job. All that tuition money was for nothing. At least you learned a valuable lesson about being suckered.

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Golf Lessons

sandiego.craigslist.org/nsd/res/d/golf-lessons/6934799702.html

Certified Physical Ed Teacher seeking summer employment. I teach golf lessons- group lessons or private instruction. I am seeking summer employment until the school year resumes. All ages welcome. Flexible schedule, including weekends. I meet my clients at driving ranges or courses in North County. References available! Email Sean for more information or to set up a lesson.

I thought San Diego teachers got paid summer vacation. Is this your punishment for washing the student’s balls?

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BUSINESS TO BUSINESS COLLECTIONS AGENT NEEDS A JOB (Richardson, Garland, Plano, N Dallas)

dallas.craigslist.org/dal/res/d/business-to-business-collections-agent/6938481276.html

Do you have customers that you want to keep but they don’t pay their bills on time? I am the perfect solution to that problem. I am persistent and friendly at the same time. 

Please email me if you are looking for a loyal and hard worker. :)

Why would you want to keep a customer that doesn’t pay their bills on time? That’s like wanting to keep a wife that doesn’t fuck you.

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Stenoma decora

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stenoma_decora#/

Stenoma decora is a moth in the Depressariidae family. It was described by Philipp Christoph Zeller in 1854. It is found in Brazil.

When you click the random button on Wikipedia, you’ll probably end up on a moth page. They should have few pages with lists of different moth species. Instead, they spread them out in multiple pages so it seems like they have more content. They also do this with beetle species. It’s a trick to take advantage of SEO traffic. Actual moth researchers have better information than Wikipedia. Moths are just insects with mental retardation like the people who run Wikipedia. Everyone should prank edit the moth pages.

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Native German language tutor with teacher’s license (Upper West Side)

newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lss/d/new-york-city-native-german-language/6936921138.html

I am an experienced native German language teacher, with a college degree (Humboldt University, Berlin, Germany) in teaching foreign languages. 

I offer German lessons for beginners or advanced students and German reading and conversations on a variety of topics for those, who know German and want to keep it up-to-date. I can help you prepare for the Goethe exam, on all levels. Or, if you plan a trip to Germany, we could focus on the most important phrases for tourists.

My fee is $40 per hour, if you come to my place (10am-6:30pm Monday to Friday) or if we meet in my neighborhood, UWS, (Monday to Sunday, any time). Otherwise, if I have to travel, $45 in Manhattan. TBD outside of Manhattan.

Please contact me by replying to this email – and include somewhere in your email your actual, own email address, if possible. Thanks!

Do you use Mein Kampf as a textbook?

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